From the StevieLovesEvie.com archive:
"Congratulations on your choice!" read the message from a local funeral home. It wasn't spam, but it wasn't all that genuine either. Someone had simply gone to a website and filled out a sales inquiry. They input Dad's information and clicked "Send." What he received, coincidentally on the same day he thought he would see his daughter again after over a year, was a confirmation email and a link to his new account with the funeral home. Yippee!
Dad sent a copy of the notice to his attorney and then forgot about it. A few days later, on the day he had noticed to talk to Evie via FaceTime, Mom cancelled again and another notice appeared in his inbox. "Congratulations on your choice!" Double Yippee! He had been signed up AGAIN for funeral services. Another coincidence, I am sure. Dad rolled his eyes, sent the notice to his attorney and promptly forgot about it.
Every now and then, like today, Dad is reminded that he still hasn't logged into his new account and of all the things to do in Westchester when he's dead.
Dad is pretty used to threats at this point, but what happened next was something new. A week later when his three-and-half-year-old daughter arrived for the visit with Grandma, and he finally got to see her, she wanted to play guns. Pew-Pew...Pew-Pew-Pew. Where on earth did she learn that?